The Grateful Ones

No Reason to Smile

(Mary's Story)

Mary was born on Fort Worth's north side, to an alcoholic and sexually abusive father and a neglectful and abusive mother, who eventually turned to alcohol in her own effort to escape the harsh realities of an abusive marriage. Mary felt the abuse, neglect and rejection from both of her parents. She was hurting and on the path to self-destruction; and without realizing that she had a choice, Mary reluctantly embraced the poor examples that her parents had shown her.

Mary had spent most of her youth trying to escape the reality of her painful life through drugs and sex; which lead her into criminal behaviors. By the time she reached the age of 14, Mary was already a “blackout a lcoholic,” drinking at least a fifth of hard liquor a day when she could get it and she had begun experimenting with other drugs. She would soon find her drugs of choice to be “speed” and “weed”. At the age of 15, she became a high school dropout. Not long after that, she not only used drugs, she also began selling them. Even after a drug over-dose and narrowly escaping death on a few occasions, she was still lost and confused and had no hope of anything better in her life. At 17, she began working in massage parlors where sex, drugs and the love of money ran rampant and even encouraged in order to cope with the realities of that sad and depressing lifestyle.

She was arrested in 1978, at the age of 17, for a violent crime spree that began in Texas and ended in murder in California, and was subsequently convicted in 1979 for the crimes of first-degree murder and armed robbery. The “Lost” photo shows her on the day she arrived at the California Institution for Women to serve out the life sentence she had just received. Having arrived at the prison just a few days after turning 19, Mary had no reason to smile.

During this time, there were many days that Mary truly believed that she would never see the free world again. In 1983, after several years of searching for a source of love, acceptance, and some meaning to her life and finding very little, she came to the conclusion that her life had no value if it meant that she would have to suffer the pain and carry the burdens she had dealt with her entire life. As a result, Mary made a decision to end it all through suicide since she could find no peace or meaning for her life. However, little did Mary know that there was an even greater plan at work in her life that she had no knowledge or understanding of. Not yet, anyway, because God had a plan, and her life was just about to change. It was during this critical time that she decided to give one last thing a try...

A friend had been telling Mary about how the Lord Jesus Christ changes lives. So, desperate for change, she decided to give this a try. After all, she figured that she could still “check out” if her life didn't change. So, Mary turned her life and heart over to the Lord Jesus Christ on Feb. 14, 1983.

Many things changed right away. First of all, through God's love, redemption and the gift of salvation in Jesus Christ, there was a transformation taking place like she had never before experienced. Her life took on such a whole new look that even the prison guards noticed how much she had changed. Because the guards no longer recognized her by her prison photo I.D., she was required by the prison officials to re-take her “mug shot” (see “Found” photo). You see, having no reason to smile for so many years and finally finding so much joy and peace, Mary began smiling all the time. Next, the Lord set Mary free from her chemical addictions. What a change her life was going through! God then began dealing with her heart concerning the unforgiveness she had towards her dad for the sexual abuse. It took seven and a half years, but the Lord helped her to forgive him. As a result, there came freedom; the likes of such, she had never known. Ironically, Mary was more free than she had ever known previously in her entire life, but was still in prison. Finally, the Lord granted her freedom from prison after serving over 13 years for her part in the crimes, by giving her favor with the parole board and the Governor of California; she paroled in 1991.

In addition, God has given her much healing and restoration with her family. Were it not for the Lord Jesus Christ in her life today, Mary would not be with us. Satan has on many occasions tried to destroy her, only to fail in his attempts. The Lord's continual love and favor has given her freedom and a new life full of love, joy, and peace in the Lord Jesus Christ. She is grateful to the Lord for never giving up on her no matter how many times she rejected Him, and for loving her enough to provide the grace that changed everything and transformed her life! Today, Mary has found many reasons to smile!